How come Asians never sit in the front row?

At the Page Turner festival a few weeks ago, I read a short piece in which I channeled my mother — accent, broken English and all.

During the Q&A, this Asian woman asked me if I would read the same piece to a “white” audience, because in front of an “Asian” audience, “we’re all in on the joke” with the accent.

I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I was annoyed and sort of mean (when the event is posted to YouTube, I wonder if they’ll include that part).  I said something along the lines that I was trying to authentically portray my mother and that I read for myself without trying to tailor my work for any particular audience to seek approval.

But the question still annoys me.

For one thing, it assumes that all “white” people are ignorant jerks ready for a laugh drawn on stereotypical lines.

For another thing, my mother accent isn’t “the joke.”  What kind of jackass would I be for counting on a Chinese accent for laughs?

Essentially, my short piece is saying, “This is my mother.  She’s quite a character.  If you ask her to tell you a ghost story, this is what you’ll get.”

Let’s give “white” people some credit.  They are not all ignorant jerks out to screw over people of color.  Certainly not the “white” people who show up for book readings.  Larry the Cable Guy is not going to come to a Snakes Can’t Run reading.

And speaking of people of color, I put “white” in quotations because Asians come in all colors.  That “white” guy sitting next to you could have a gay Korean dad.

Believe it or not, the Asian-woman questioner later came up to my wife to compliment her on her performance in “Children of Invention,” in which her character speaks with a Cantonese accent!